Solutions Based Counseling Helping Married Couples Stay Together

What does it take to commit to positive thinking? 

1. It takes a decision.

For whatever reason, you have to want to live a positive life, and then make a decision to do just that. It is your choice, so choose for you by choosing to be positive and to do positive things in your life.

2. It takes a positive habit.

In just the same way that you form negative thinking habits, you can form positive ones. All it takes is a bit of practice, and consciously observing your thoughts and actions. The good part is that once the habit is formed, it's difficult to break.

3. It takes a lifetime of day-to-day commitments.

Most of us have heard “one day at a time” and that’s the way we live our life best. If we can do what is right for us today and then begin tomorrow the same way, then we have our lives under control. Changes that last are lifetime commitments -- and yet thinking of it as a "lifetime thing" tends to make most people afraid. We can make the decision to live a positive life for today only -- and then tomorrow, commit to it again.

4. It takes the support of our friends and loved ones.

When it comes to the support of those that care about us we tend to be too stubborn or proud to ask for it. It is not that they are unwilling to give us what we need, but so often we feel that should know what it is without our asking. If you're anything like I am, you want to do it yourself -- and yet you need the help of others in order to succeed at changing your life. Committing to a positive life is a lot like committing to a spouse -- you put your old ways behind you, you look to the future, and you never look back. So, never look back on a negative life -- always look forward to the positive life in front of you.

5. Appreciate as much as you can.

This is one of the simplest things you can do to bring more positivity into your life. I have found that being appreciative is a great way to turn an angry, sad or frustrated mood around to a more positive one. We need to have simple appreciation of all the people in our lives, the things we have around us, and our daily experiences. When I take time to practice this for a minute or two each and every day it always gives me a positive boost and improves my outlook on the world.

6. Stop comparing yourself to others.

If you compare yourself to others you will create a lot of unnecessary  pain in your life. I know that around every corner I can find a person more talented, better looking, and more successful than me. And my brief sense of feeling like a winner can transform into  anxiety, fear, or a sense of not being good enough. Compare yourself to only you it’s the only fair comparison. Make improvements and changes that will help you grow and become the successful and happy person you want to be. Focus on yourself and not the other people around you no matter if they are more or less successful than you. It may sound corny or clichéd, but I feel it´s both a healthier and more successful way to work and view life.

7. Realize that it is your choice of how you react.

You don´t have to live your life in a reaction, you can choose to respond instead. There is always a gap between what happens and your response or reaction to it. By focusing on that gap of time it will give you the ability to think from a different area of your brain and make that all important decision of what to say or do. The more you practice this skill of thinking before doing and consciously choosing rather than reacting you will find yourself handling life in a much more productive way. It will become easier and easier to choose a constructive and effective response to your life challenges, problems and situations. Life is more positive when we know that we are in control of ourselves and all we do.

8. Educate yourself.

By self-education we can take active steps to help ourselves live more positive lives. Reading great books on the areas of our life we want to improve from finances, health, or even our relationships. If there is a problem or concern in your life, you are probably not the only one with this situation in your life. Often others have had that problem or something very similar to have dealt with in their lives. And there is a good chance that at least one of them - or more likely a few – has written down how they solved that problem in a great way. By finding out how people with more success in that area than you handled the situation and what they did to improve things you will feed your mind daily – or weekly – with great solutions and inspirational and useful information. Life is always more positive when we are learning.

5. Act as if.

“Fake it to you make it” has always been my motto to live by. Emotions work backwards, so even if you don´t feel positive, confident, calm or decisive you can act as if you do. And after you have done that for a few minutes, guess what happens? You will actually start to feel positive, confident, calm or decisive. It is all about the Law of Attraction. You bring into your life what you focus on. If your focus is on how terrible and awful things are, then that is what you will bring into your life. But if you will view your life in a positive frame of mind, it will much more likely go in that direction. If you don´t know how to act observe other people around you family, friends, or co-workers who have the qualities you´d like to have. Then imitate them. If you don´t believe in this, then just smile – even if you have to force yourself – for 30 seconds right now and see how you feel after that.

9. Live in the here and now.

Living in the now is the only place we can grow and thrive. If we are caught up in our past or are always projecting into the future it is a sure-fire way to start negative loops of thoughts in our minds. And this negativity can dig us deep down into a negative spiral of thinking and doing that can last for day, week or even years. Plan your life, reflect on the lessons you have learned from the past, but live in the here and now to work, play and love. Positive living is here we are right now, not where we have been or where we are going.

10. Do some mental rehearsal.

This is great way to improve your performance and decrease anxiety in any situation that might come up in your life. No matter what you are dealing with visualize now how great the events will unfold - see and hear it - and also how great will you feel when you have come through this situation. See your-self smiling, being positive, open, confident, or how you´d like to act and feel. See the excellent outcome in your mind. Then release by visualizing that it has already happened, that the occurrence is over with the desired result. This is surprisingly effective and will get you into a great and relaxed mood – or at least decrease your negative feelings and expectations - before even dealing with any of the many situations that might be coming up in your life. Living a positive life is making the decision to live it well.

11. Redefine failure.

“If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.” We have all heard that saying, but do we believe it?  If we could see our failure in life as learning and valuable information than we might not fear it so much. I like to think of failure, not as something to fear but rather useful feedback that can improve our life immensely. The more we learn from our past failures and the more we try again and again the better our chances are to get it right and failure will become less and less frightening. All successful people have failed many, many times.

Michael Jordan once said: “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”

 So, decided to live your life in a positive way, knowing that you have to fail sometimes in order to learn how to be successful.

12. Focus on what you want, not on what you don´t want.

One common mistake we make is that we tend to focus our thoughts on what we don´t want rather than what we do want. If you do that then it will be hard for you to get what you want in life. The only way to improve your finances is to focus on having a great financial situation rather than your lack of money and your debts. If you want a new relationship in your life then focus on meeting lots of new people and forming great relationships rather than your loneliness. By not changing what you choose to focus on, you will miss many opportunities to bring the desired results to your life by focusing on negatives and blocking out the positive opportunities for success. Your mind can only see what you focus it on and therefore begin to generate that result into your life. So focus on what you want and see how much better of a chance you will have of getting it.

 Dont Give Up